Scary Stuff

Well, the past day and a half have been bloody strange, and could have had serious implications.

So, I've porked a Swamp Donkey, waved goodbye to a nice couple of Brit bikers across the way as they head back to the UK and I'm confined to barracks (well, hammock).

That must be the end of today then, the thunder and lightning is monumental, the rain is coming down like stair-rods. I doze...........

An hour and a half I wake up and the sun is shining, the wind is still ferocious, but it's distinctly beach weather. I grab my book and MP3 player and head off. Now, because of the wind, it is at times chilly, despite there being brilliant sunshine. I think that saved my bacon, because it meant my shirt was on for most of the day.

You see, the previous day had been a real scorcher, and like every other British twat, I roasted under the sun. I don't normally burn, I try to keep an eye on things, and I slap on the cream, but that day got me, I was lobster-like. Not a problem, I know I'm burned, I'm not going to repeat the error, I'll take it easy and slap on the after-sun. The thing is, by the time the thunderstorm hit next morning I was feeling just a tiny bit ill too. When the weather cleared up and I hit the beach my doom was assured. By that afternoon, I was feeling seriously ill, and I mean ill. As I say, luckily I hadn't exposed too much skin to the sun, but enough.

Yesterday evening I was feeling pretty rough, I went out to eat, had justone beer and went to a club. There were plenty of women there up for it, even one brave soul who took on at least 30 young lads, some soccer teams I think, here for a tournament. As they jockeyed for position, some of them were coming round for seconds before others had had their first go. I thought the woman would be still there tomorrow!
Anyway, this is how ill I was feeling - I didn't feel like steaming in for a portion myself. Yep, that's when I knew there was going to be problems.

I retired to the hammock, by now feeling like a truck had run me over. As anyone who knows me will tell you, I speak in tongues when asleep, even more so when ill, it's almost like a delerium. This is how I found myself conversing with my parents in the dead of night, begging them to come and fetch me. Really. I yakked up till there was nothing left, just over the edge of the hammock (not clever, I can't get away from the smell then, can I? Duh), but again, a measure of how ill I felt.

Once again, anyone who knows me will tell you that I'm a complete pussy when it comes to illness, I summon the family to the bedside whenever I get a sniffle and divide my guitars up amongst my 3 young nieces (who have no clue what I'm talking about), I tend to over-react. However, I thought I was dying this morning. At one point I couldn't move, I couldn't get out of the hammock. I knew I needed a drink, that dehydration was a real issue, but couldn't do anything about it. I lay there as the sun rose and proceeded to bake me under the tarp. Damned scary stuff. There are people walking about outside, but I can't call out to them, they are all bloody foreign anyway - how can I explain that it's not a hangover, i really really am having difficulties?

I lay there for hours, feeling myself getting weaker, moaning and calling out to people who just ignored me. I can see me dying there, with no-one realising until afterwards. No-one knows where I am, I have no friends here, no-one to even speak to. Eye-opening stuff (or closing, depending on your outlook).

Finally I know I am in serious trouble so roll out of the hammock onto the floor. I lay there and people walk by and see me but don't even ask if I'm OK!!! With a supreme effort I get to my feet and stagger off to a cafe across the site and get some juice inside me. Immediately I feel better, but still not right. I guzzle more and even wolf a packet of fig rolls. Now, at 8pm, I finally feel human again, though I don't think I can face going on the pull.

This afternoon I was praying to feel good enough to ride home, determined the trip was over here and now, but I feel different now. I'm going to leave this Sodom (I have seen what Hell will be like for me, and will elaborate later) and go to Andorra, get myself along some of those twisty roads, the perfect therapy.

(Percy is looking at me though, I may well end up taking him out for a dip in a while. When at an oasis............)